25th Hour - (Title Credit: Kosherabz & Ehab Ismail) / by Joaquim Gonsalves

I just wanna effin' write.
And not waste this inspiration
By posting the intent on Insta.

Some of you know me as an actor
Or the guy behind the camera.
To me it's an outlet
For everything I suppress

I'm not 'that guy' going through tribulations
At least that's what I think.

I do things for free and work my ass off for it.
Not because I ain't worth it
But just 'cause I love it.

Some of you care I know
In fact most of you do
Can't thank you enough for it.

To some I'm the relative
The one who doesn't "care" to meet

That weirdo who does unspeakable shit
And they ain't talking about the acting or the shooting.

I've caused harm to some
By my words & deeds
But the worst of it was my addiction

Or so I think it is.

Some say I need self-control
Others say I need religion

Like I said, I ain't the one going through shit
'Cause that's not what the world would call it

Yeah I know others have it worse
But I've not been through their shoes or vice versa

I just know that I've done wrong
I try to get over it

But some things you can't just get over
Like losing nana before one last time
One last time that I could hear her.

That's why I do my thing 24/7
Haha not really

Three-six-five is nothing
To a decade plus of indulgence

Call it what you may, but despite that
I'm just trying to "make it"

Like everyone of you is.

It's the 10th repeat
'Cause I'm slow
And well, I dig this beat


I'm not the best there is
But I'm the best I've ever been

And it's cost me my time
Lead me to worry

Of how to face the family

They'd want to see me
While the world defines results as monetary

It was 4 am when I first wrote this
And my questions,
Probably unanswered.

I may get tempted again
Give in once more

It's 5:30 as I second draft this
Give in, I did not (but I did the other day)

I may well be late to meet them.

I don't know about you world.
Sometimes all I need is another hour

Thank you KSHR.

----------------------

Pls do click on 'KSHR' above to watch the music video. That's the '"beat" I am referring to in the poem.
Kosherabz is a young rapper I connected with recently in Dubai thanks to my bro: Director of Screen 13, and those awesome visuals in the video for '25th hour' -  Ehab Ismail 

I shall talk more about this blog next week, stuff like why it is important and also certain other details or rather lessons I have learnt.

----------

There's gonna be some great stuff coming out this year.
So pls do subscribe to #theJQMweekly (the big orange button on the right/below) if you haven't as yet.

More importantly, do let me know where you think I can improve.

Thanks again for your precious time. Really means a lot to me.